Grief: A Beast and A Beauty

Apr 20, 2023

It happens to us all

storm day rainbowHaving been through a fair share, I get asked a lot about grief and the grieving process. What it looks like, how to manage it, how to heal. I am no expert here; I don’t think anyone can be as it is so very personal. Here is what I know to be true about grief…it is a journey, and everyone feels it, EVERYONE. While everyone experiences grief differently, there is not one beautiful human out there who will avoid loss in their lifetime. Someone they loved, something irreplaceable, an identity, a job, a business, a friendship, a pet…Loss happens to us all.

Grief is the cost, it is the price we pay for Love

It is a price I will choose to pay over and over again because nothing is better than Love in this Life. But the fact remains that Grief is really hard, it can bowl us over. It can disrupt our day to day, our habits, our routines, our mindset. It can feel like our world is crashing down. It can feel too heavy to carry. It can affect our relationships and who we know we are but seem unable to be that true version of ourselves. We can feel lost and unsettled and unwell. However, I also know to be true that there is also great beauty inside of grief.

Everything hurts

Grief feels so visceral when it is new.  I had someone tell me once that fresh grief lives like a gash on your arm, a wide open wound. It aches, it hurts, its painful all of the time. It has its way with you every minute of every day. With time that gash sinks a little deeper. It still aches and hurts when triggered…like a simple trip to Costco. For me Costco reminds me of my dad. It was his favorite outing and we went together often, he loved it so much and we had the best time. Now swinging by Costco will never be the same for me and sometimes that means tears while strolling down the aisle. Grief will have its way with you just not as frequently. As more time passes that gash sinks so deep you hardly feel it day to day even though you know it’s still there. It still aches and still hurts and still has its way with you on occasion.
The advice was to let it. Let it have its way with you. Feel the ache and the pain.
Feel it. Hello grief you beautiful beast.

Grief is like a spring storm

hood canal shrimping Like March: In like a Lion out Like a Lamb. That gorgeous March morning you wake up and the SUN is shining, the sky is blue usually after snow or rain or just plain gray after gray days on end. The air is crisp, a little cold and also so warm in the sunshine. That warmth that you feel in your bones, instantly brings a smile to your face. That day that makes you think of BBQ’s and eating outside, of gardens and flowers, farmers markets, going for walks without layers or raingear or boots. That day that makes you take a big deep inhale and exhale. Then all of a sudden, the sky darkens, the wind starts whipping and the rain starts pouring down so hard that you have no choice but to run inside soaked to the bone and cold. That storm was not in the forecast, there was no warning, there was no preparation. The next thing you know you look out the window and the sky is clear and again a brilliant blue. That is Grief. It is a Storm on an otherwise absolutely beautiful day.

Grief is like the ocean

Pacific coast storm Have you ever watched how fast the ocean can change. Calm waters suddenly turn into wild waves. Without warning. Waves crashing onto the shore sweeping away the best built most solid sandcastle in one fail swoop. Knocking you off your feet into a crumble on the sand when one second ago you were walking tall and strong and steady. It feels wild and scary. It feels completely out of control. The ocean waves are so strong, grief can feel so strong. The ocean waves can clear the decks so fast; grief can bring you to your knees in a second. The ocean waves can be so loud it drowns out every other noise around you, grief can scream so loud inside your head you cannot hear anything else. The ocean waves are majestic and so beautiful, grief and all it represents, the love that filled you up so completely is also majestic and so beautiful. That is Grief. The sudden change of the ocean, calm to wild.

Grief is like a sunset on a day you don’t want to end

sunset on a perfect dayA glorious day full of what you love most. The food you love, the people you love, an awesome experience, an amazing adventure, a life changing event that you want to remember forever. That day you wish never had to end. The sun sets. Symbolizing the end. The end of the day you want nothing more than to hold onto. It’s time to say goodbye. The sunset is stunning. Colors painting the sky into a watercolor rainbow. You feel the magic. You feel the love. This is Grief. A sunset on a perfect day.

There is beauty in the Grief

mason lake roadThere is beauty in the Love.
There is beauty in the Healing.
There is beauty in the Ending.
There is beauty in new Beginnings.
There is beauty in You right now, as is, wherever you are on the journey.

Until next time friends. I cherish you and I am Celebrating you.

 

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Melissa Garcia is the founder of Roots to Wings Collective, a 300-hour certified yoga teacher, and an eternal optimist. Melissa holds space for connection, creativity, and celebration, through movement, meditation, energy work, and intentional rituals. She believes in magic and that there is no such thing as too much glitter!

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